Waking up on July 5th, 2019 is a great day to wake up because today I am 25 years clean and sober. It has been an interesting 25 years. My sobriety story starts when I was 12 years old. That is when I tried my first hit of drugs. Drugs were an easy way out for me because at that time my days included me going to school where bullying was a regular thing. I knew I was gay, but I didn’t tell anyone so I was in the closet.
I also had dyslexia, so I was labeled with a learning disability in school. I also fought depression that I didn’t know how to fight at that age and consequently I had some very real suicide attempts. Some of my family tried to help me, but regardless of their help I usually woke up mad at the world and at God. The drugs and alcohol seemed to take it all away for a little while at a time.
I won’t get into my entire story because that would be a book, but I think my story is more common then not. It was easy to lie about my drug use as much as it was easy to lie about everything else going on with me. It became second nature. NO ONE knew the real Amy. I was hiding a lot from my family, my friends and my co-workers. It was my secret life.
Fast-forward to 21 years of age. I was still in the closet, as far as being gay, and I had another suicide attempt. I knew, at that time, I did not have any control over the drugs any more. I finally realized, at 21 years of age, that the drugs had control over me. At last, I wanted the help. That’s right, I finally wanted help.
I asked for help from my family, they were right there to help me. I went into treatment at 21 years of age, which is a bit strange. Most people start drinking at 21, but I wanted to stop drinking and drugging at 21.
So, to anyone wanting to get clean or to anyone who is clean, I want to congratulate you! I know what it is like and I know it is hard, but I also know it is worth it! I would not trade for anything for my life now. Being clean and sober was the first step to an awesome life!
Having the support I have now is an incredible feeling. I want to give back that feeling by helping children in the foster care system because more and more foster kids are getting addicted to drugs, have suicide attempts, struggling with their sexuality, and/or are fighting depression. That is why I am so passionate about the Angel K Love Project. I hope I can show foster kids, and anyone who crosses my path, that being clean and sober is the best choice anyone could make!
Being completely sober is a choice, a hard choice, but with my faith in God and my 12-Step Program, it is the best choice. Having faith in God and working the 12-Step Program allows yourself to show the world the real you, and to be proud of that person.